Permission to Pause

With new technology and so many things that are designed to make our lives easier, it seems ironic that we can never find enough hours in the day to fit in everything it is we need and want to do. Out of necessity, women tend to take on many responsibilities – and too often find ourselves engaged in a nearly impossible juggling act between career, family and friends, and the desire to take an active role in our communities. There is a perfectionist mentality that comes into play here, as we focus on specific goals and specific ways of doing things.

While setting goals is commendable, placing the pressure of perfection on yourself keeps you from appreciating the process of what you're doing – the process that is living your life. We encourage our clients to allow themselves "permission to pause." A vital component of happiness is in appreciating exactly who and where we are in the current moment – giving ourselves permission to just be.

As media continues to infiltrate our lives in a variety of ways, the message comes through again and again that women can be all things to all people at all times. This pressure begins in childhood. Women grow up hearing the message that they can do it all. What they don't hear is that trying to have it all leaves no time to experience life. Teaching our children, especially our daughters, not only to balance the activities they are involved in now, but also to prioritize their lives to allow for downtime, is doing them a great service. Not taking time to restore the soul means we don't have anything left to give to our job, our family members, our community, or our place of worship – and when we don't take time to pause, we can't connect with our inner selves and understand our own needs. The mind and the soul have a way of telling you where you are with your emotions, your career, your relationships. They also help identify when there is a need to move on to new experiences.

You must be still enough to hear those messages.

The concept of permission to pause is so important. When we don't make the time to recharge and reconnect with ourselves, we end up going through the motions of life without listening to our inner selves. We risk shifting our lives into autopilot – a state that causes us to become mere participants in our own lives rather than creators of a beautiful, fulfilling existence.

A few important things to remember when taking the time to pause:

• Being exceptional and doing your best doesn’t equate to being perfect – lighten up on yourself.
• Rather than directing all of your attention to your end goal, take time to enjoy the process of reaching it.
• Take time to reconnect with yourself so you can identify what your true needs are and follow a path that will fulfill you.
• Do not ignore the voice of your mind and soul. You can only disregard it for so long until you shut down.
• You don’t always need to invest in everybody else first. Invest in yourself so you are able to give back to those around you.

Our New Directions class, a 21-day program designed exclusively for women in transition, begins by taking a look first at the individual woman. We find out who she is, where she’s been and where she wants to go while allowing her the chance to reconnect with herself. We have two licensed counselors on staff who specialize in career development and assist in helping women identify what barriers or challenges they need to overcome in order to create what needs to come next. Our counselors are exceptional at guiding our clients through the process of letting go of people and experiences that no longer serve them. This all occurs before ever moving into the career development process.

It is only after a woman can look to herself to find what is healthy for her that she will be able to give of herself and contribute to the world around her.