Dealing with Difficult Supervisors

Difficult supervisors come in all shapes and sizes, but one thing is universally true: a difficult boss makes it much harder to get work done, and adds to the stress of each day. When you can’t leave your job, you have to find a way to work with your boss more effectively. You may not be able to change your boss, but you can change the way you interact with him or her.

One of the most important things you can do to change the nature of the situation is to stop taking interactions personally. Often, when a boss is critical, micro manages, or has an abrupt or abrasive personality, we begin to internalize their behavior and take everything as a personal insult. By actively acknowledging that the supervisor’s behavior is not a direct reflection of your ability, you can remove yourself from the emotion of exchanges and see them from a purely businesslike standpoint. This will allow you to focus on improving the interactions.

Changing the Conversation

There are three ingredients that make tension more likely: high stakes, strong emotions, and opposing opinions. But It is crucial in the work environment that tensions be resolved so that open communication, transparency, and collaboration can occur. Without it, the environment becomes stilted. Employee morale can be affected, as can productivity. When employees are fearful about losing their jobs, they often tolerate more misbehavior than they should. While there’s no need for a full-blown mutiny, sometimes simply speaking from the heart and letting your supervisor know that his or her approach is uncomfortable can make all the difference.

Tips for Improving the Conversation:

·       Refrain from confrontations and accusations

·       Speak about how the behavior makes you feel

·       Tie it to how it affects your work

·       Change your own attitude and reaction too

The Fine Line Between Difficult and Hostile

There is a big difference between a boss who is simply difficult to work with and a boss who creates an untenable situation. You may have to tolerate a difficult supervisor, but you definitely do not have to – and should not – tolerate a harassing or abusive boss. There are many different forms harassment can take, from age discrimination to sexual harassment  There is never an excuse for a supervisor who makes you feel threatened or fearful.

If your boss's behavior has moved from difficult to hostile or harassing, or if you are being discriminated against, you must seek help. Speak to someone in your human resource department or the human rights commission.